i'm not awake

i don't feel engaged in, or passionate about, any of my non-creative writing classes. And, I'm only registered for one of those (and taking two extra free non credit writing classes). It makes everything so much harder. I don't  even care about what i know i care about. I'm not invested in anything of my classes really. Only extracurriculars & writing, even though my extracurriculars relate to my major/classes. I think I'm just really back to being so sick of the routine. i know i'm intelligent, in that i can pick things apart, ask questions and have things to say, but not lately. I really need  to set it up for myself so that monotony and routine can be broken up in the future. It just sucks that when I do things now to break from it, I don't really want/don't feel ready to go back. When I do break from it, I just want to separate from it altogether. And, I wonder what type of student this makes me. I feel like since i've been here, i've been low-key having a continuing "what kind of student am i?" identity crisis. What a privilege, but still... it's important for  me because I feel numb/blank/still/not myself? in "learning" things that should be interesting to me. So now, the highlights of my recent classes/weeks:

1. reading Sylvia Plath's "Tulips" in Beginning Poetry Workshop
2. my Music Hum teacher playin' using Stevie Wonder's "I Was Made to Love Her" to demonstrate what the ground bass sounds like in more contemporary music (as opposed to the Baroque period of Western Music)
3. listening to student writers in one of my free non credit writing classes (and also cracking up on the inside about how one of the girls in my class was looking at our grad student teacher like she wanted to devour him, haha)

yup, that's it.
you would think i'd be moved by our class on Minstrelsy in Black Theatre. by .. by .. other stuff! i mean i know why i should be interested about a lot of things i'm "learning" and why it's important but i don't feel a stirring. Only time I feel awake is when I'm working with the Black Theatre Ensemble or ROOTEd, or listening to music, or reading (blogs, books/poems for leisure, shoot! even subway ads) and talking to people. Other than that, I'm floating.

But things can't be perfect. Can't be awake every moment, right? that just sounds effed up. You know, I'm more excited about sleep than class sometimes. I don't really know what to do. But all the rest is fine though :] haha.

after that depressing post, you might feel a little less awake, huh? take a dose of (the quickest thing i can think of that gets me moving):


this has a ground bass (basso continuo) too, doesn't it?