Friday, July 16, 2010

so these lyrics are not a game

You must think life goes on forever 
the way you bide your time
the way you talk too much 
the way you stop trying

You believe life goes on forever
the way the sun sets
the way you feed the fear
the way you regress

Life after life goes on until it bores you to a death
even more frightening than being alive
You pretend life goes on forever & a day wasting away 

You must think like goes on forever

the way you let it slip away

the way you hide the way you feel
the way you don't feel what you say

Life after life goes on down the road you've walked before

catering to the complacent habit forming insecure

May the circle be unbroken

by and by Lord

by and by

You must think life goes on forever

the way you stay the very same

Life forever pass it on won't you tell your friends
to keep running to the future
while running from the end
the end

Thursday, July 15, 2010

i'm trying not to be angry

at the world, for not knowing about Street Faerie/Cree Summer singing earlier. I just found out randomly about "Mean Sleep" from this blog (which I totally recommend following), last week. But I had to post this song, these lyrics are everything. And, if I wasn't starting to get a headache from staying up too late I'd say more. I got some research to do. Just engage:

so i can't get this song out of my head

"Oxford Comma," by Vampire Weekend; which is wild to me because I just started listening to their music this week and they performed at my school for I think our orientation concert or Bacchanal a couple years ago (probably because they went to Columbia) and I wasn't even pressed. But, that's also because I didn't know who they were and was oh dee confounded about Clipse performing afterwards (ppl were all too comfortable making gun shot noises at that concert, but I still had fun). Anywho, maybe posting it here will release me

and I also really like this video,

now, that's just fun.

 and this song kinda,

this is actually hilarious, considering i'm sure they were a part of the Columbia i know nothing about. but maybe that's a part of the allure, the unknown... oooh aaahhh. *shrugs* i just like the way it sounds. and anyway, i need something to temper the "soulful" edge that everyone attributes to me. i think it does a good job i mean according to the guy that created "Stuff White People Like" they are the whitest band out right now. but that's a whole 'nother discussion. for now i'm just enjoying the drums, guitar & this guy's weird little voice & fun/catchy lyrics until/if I come across a reason not to.

on second thought

so, i'm ruminating over the post below and i realize i'm better than that. even though i think it's largely true that you can't assume that people care about you, i think it might be dangerous to assume they don't as well. and no courage comes from assuming all people suck. no growth either. i have had lack of faith in people pretty much down pat most of my life. and tho i think what i said is logical, it does operate from a place of hurt and distrust deep down somewhere. i want to move on to something different. something more light-wielding. why not take the risk?

Note: this is abt  interpersonal relations, not walking down a dark alley at night & the like. mmhm.
Note #2: i'd still appreciate an answer to the questions in the previous post just to know how other people work.

open for discussion.

so i revealed to my mom one of my core ideas about people tonight. i know it's flawed/negative/whatchamakallit but whatever, here it goes

i don't expect people to give a damn about me.
let me clarify.

this does not mean that i assume people will not like me before they meet me. (and, it clearly doesn't mean i assume they will like me.) it means that i expect people to be indifferent, unless there's that occasional exception where they may like something i'm wearing or i'm smiling brightly that day or maybe they caught me doing something interesting. otherwise, why would they not be indifferent?

now, i know part of interactions with people is about attitude. which is to say, some people may look at the statement in bold up there and say, "well, if you go into relationships with people like that you're bound to color it with that sentiment blah blah" mmhm. maybe, that's true. but then again, when i actually meet and start talking to people i'm not usually indifferent to them. i talk to them, and actually try to get to know something real about them if i can/they allow me to fit it in. but not everyone is like this. what i'm saying is... as many of us are there are walking around, how can i expect everyone to care? slow down. there are so many people in this world and only some of them are gonna mean something to some of us, and this is usually for very particular reasons.

so, i don't think i'm doom & gloom. i think i'm being realistic.

however, assuming that people don't give a damn could hamper if/how i approach people. that is the only time  i'll try to put this type of thinking on the backburner. but this is also when fierce be-yourself-no-matter-whatness stands up. and as long as the real-alive me is on deck, i'm ready to stick to my philosophy. 

i say all of this to say, 
if you read this i would really appreciate a response on this one post (you can even keep your name secret)

what do you assume in first interactions with people or just in general in relations to how others take you in? why? what's your equivalent to what i'm talking about?

i'm just really curious to see how others see this. because i don't really see it any other way.

Monday, July 12, 2010

"my biggest fear

will be the rescue of me.
strange how it turns out that way."

"could you show me dear/something i'm not seeing/something infinitely interesting."

"something abt the look in your eyes
something i noticed when the light was just right
it reminded me twice that i was alive
and it reminded me that you're so worth the fight."

Sunday, July 11, 2010

just thinkin.

i find myself wanting to go far away. and it confuses me when other people don't feel the same. i just want to get away from what i know 'cause, well, i know it... already. or at least a sufficient amount that i'm ready to move on. not necessarily because i never wanna come back, but bc it's grown stale or head-binding.


for the making that happen.
in the works.
see me this time next year,
at the latest.

how am i supposed to stay in the present music

when there is so much music to find like this from back in the day?

yes? yes!

i be lovin' me some Incubus!