ugh! beautiful! utterly beautiful!

i'm thinking i might add listening to this song to my morning ritual, for at least a week. that should help me refresh, regroup, get up, start in the morning.

this is a reminder

to myself to post on my happy day from last week. i don't want to forget it happened. list to come!

scriptures to sustain.

so Tuesday, i was feeling a lil downtrodden. so downtrodden that when i went to the library to get one of the books i needed for a class i've been struggling with and it wasn't there i just decided to sit down in the lobby and look up scriptures at the computer kiosk by the steps. i Googled scriptures & loneliness. here are the highlights:

I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. John 14:18

1 Peter 5:7 “Casting all your care upon him; for he cares for you.” 

Matthew 28:20
“Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.” 

Psalm 68:6a 
“God makes a home for the lonely; He leads out the prisoners into prosperity, Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land.” 

Psalm 91:1-2, 14-15 “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. Because he loves me, says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.” 

2 Corinthians 1:3-4
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” 

Revelation 3:20 “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.” 

Psalm 28:7
“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.”

Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” 

Lamentations 3:22 -23 “It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Thy faithfulness. ” 

2 Chronicles 16:9a
“For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” 

John 16:33

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” 

James 4:7 

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

oh and the kicker!

"Oh Lord, all my longing

is before you

my sighing

is not hidden from you."

-Psalm 38:9

i held onto them, shared with a couple friends and i've been feeling better and looking back every once and a while. i'm glad. i just have to remember to be faithful, and to engage in faithfulness as a practice, trusting in God, praying, surrendering, seeking God and His Word when I feel heavy and breathless. Quotes do me the best. 

this is a great remix.

"Aeroplane" --Bjork

simple, fantastic lyrics. 

"We take the pressure and we throw it away/Conventionality belongs to yesterday"

"I solve my problems and I see the light

We got a lovin' thing, we gotta feed it right

There ain't no danger we can go too far

We start believing now that we can be what we are"

I never really listened to these words before. They're beautiful!

it's about that time y'all

my 22nd birthday.

woo.

my brain is kind of blank. which is not a good look, considering I have a paper I need to write/finish. i finished another one Friday. this one is due Tuesday.

when i once told a friend, this summer, that i feared i was numb, he told me it was more likely i was emotionally constipated. as in, i was probably feeling so much that nothing was coming out.

i think right now i'm mentally constipated. and that's not going to work for me, so [insert metaphor for i need to release some thoughts so i can actually have developed-paper-writing and other thoughts]

i don't know yet what i'm going to do for myself today. i need to do homework. so that.

i'm also thinking my present to myself will be: writing for a couple of hours + taking a walk. where i don't know. but that might help to clear my head as well so it's probably necessary.

i'm grateful for the "happy birthday" texts and facebook posts i've already been getting. que sweet!

i'll try to celebrate my birthday more this weekend. but if i'm not careful this day will come and go like it's any other, and i might regret that later. *shoulder shrug*

so, let's brainstorm some significance of my 22nd birthday. brainfart-a-go

1. 1 year past 21.
2. my last birthday of undergrad
3. dizaammn that's deep.
4. i should review my 19th, 20th, and 21st birthdays and see how they've changed/differed & how i've grown & stuff. & stuff.
5. i want to see my family. i haven't been home since i left after winter break. that's strange for me.
6. graduation is May 18th. i don't know what i'm doing after i graduate. i want to travel. i havent the money or the where and how yet but it's going to happen. i'm okay with not knowing what's coming next. now for dealing with how my family responds to that...
7. i'm also going to go to sleep right now for my birthday.

annnnyyyyywho!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

I'll find some way to make it special. (I just gotta!)