i have no idea what he is saying BUT whooo Lawd this is pretty!
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
oddly enough...
i was asked twice this week if i was still blogging. of course my answer was, "No." and true. i hadn't really had an interest in it anymore, but today, i kind of do. i'm thinking it's bc
well...
i don't lie.
but i think i've been telling a kind of lie. lately.
and that's that i'm writing.
which is not really a lie, bc i am journaling and writing down ideas for a story i want to tell but
i feel like it's a lie because it's not as consistent a "writing" as i'd like it to be, or as i believe telling people "i'm writing" connotes.
and at least, when i'm blogging, i'm writing more consistently. so, hello to blogging again.
i thought next time that i would have a theme and a whole new url and vibe and whatnot, but nah. things go better when i just do what comes naturally to me. there is something to be said for innovation, purpose, discipline, creating projects etc. and i'll just have to do all of that but not necessarily create a themed blog. maybe i just like it better when all i'm doing is sharing what's going on right now anyway.
so.
October. this is the first time in my life, since what, i was like 4 that i wasn't in school in October. sexy. i don't feel like i should be in school either. even sexier. now, the task, finding work/supporting myself w/ a job that doesn't bore me/where hopefully i'll learn skills that matter to me. working on it. i've been 75%heartedly looking, i've got to up that to at least 85%.
but i keep myself busy in other ways. lately, volunteering & looking for more volunteering opportunities (arts/writing related). always, reading everything that piques my interest--i'm trying to be more discerning. wandering. it's sort of surprisingly sustaining.
well...
i don't lie.
but i think i've been telling a kind of lie. lately.
and that's that i'm writing.
which is not really a lie, bc i am journaling and writing down ideas for a story i want to tell but
i feel like it's a lie because it's not as consistent a "writing" as i'd like it to be, or as i believe telling people "i'm writing" connotes.
and at least, when i'm blogging, i'm writing more consistently. so, hello to blogging again.
i thought next time that i would have a theme and a whole new url and vibe and whatnot, but nah. things go better when i just do what comes naturally to me. there is something to be said for innovation, purpose, discipline, creating projects etc. and i'll just have to do all of that but not necessarily create a themed blog. maybe i just like it better when all i'm doing is sharing what's going on right now anyway.
so.
October. this is the first time in my life, since what, i was like 4 that i wasn't in school in October. sexy. i don't feel like i should be in school either. even sexier. now, the task, finding work/supporting myself w/ a job that doesn't bore me/where hopefully i'll learn skills that matter to me. working on it. i've been 75%heartedly looking, i've got to up that to at least 85%.
but i keep myself busy in other ways. lately, volunteering & looking for more volunteering opportunities (arts/writing related). always, reading everything that piques my interest--i'm trying to be more discerning. wandering. it's sort of surprisingly sustaining.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
one of life's greatest challenges...
consistency.
i'm struggling with it. i'm realizing that i have a problem with creating and maintaining routines/structure for myself. i can blame having a bagillion interests, tasks and choices but really it's a matter of restraint and discipline. i'm determined to get some calluses on my left fingertips gosh darnit!
and i haven't been doing much writing, except maintaining a dream journal :/
and i've been watching entirely too much television. whoo. damn 3 ft wide plasma flast screen. usually, i hardly ever watch television.
also... i feel ambivalent abt blogging... and i kinda wanna get a tumblr but i get the feeling that would lead to a whole bunch of looking at pictures and it would make my attn span even shorter, tolerant only of images and not other people's words.
i've averaging a tolerance of abt 500 words at a time in reading articles and blog posts. let alone finding a new book to read, tho i have easily have a list of abt 30 i want to get from the library.
and i don't know exactly where in the sky i think money or traveling is gonna fall from if i don't start planning. i've got to find a middleground for myself btw the two extremes of so-not-productive and so-productive-i-dont-realize-i'm-being-run-into-the-ground-and-it's-a-bit-unnatural-all-that-i'm-requiring-of-myself. i blame it on school. and ok ok, i'm responsible too.
i'm also wondering when i'll find a balance between writing/art and social justice issues. i feel like i'm constantly double-majoring in the two or not at all bc i feel overwhelmed to the pt of not being very useful ot well-versed in either sphere. so much to know...
i wonder what it would be like to be away in some cabin w/ no tv, just music, a pen and a pad, or a laptop w/ no internet...and copious amts of food of course, and my guitar, and the video/audio for the lessons (and the picks i ordered on eBay that haven't come yet).
hmmm. i'll have to create that for myself.
i'm not ready to embark on finding a job yet. esp the way ppl describe it as becoming a 9-5 job w/in itself. let's start with volunteering somewhere, perhaps?
i just don't want to be a financial drain in my house. there's no real pressure for me to be bringing in the dough anytime soon, but there will be come fall and into next June. i'll give myself to mid-July? the real question is do i find a rinky dink part time job for cash or do i go all out to find something tailored to my interests for the several month haul? which reminds me of something Will Smith said abt how Plan B distracts from Plan A. but finding any job is not my Plan A. it's a means to an end. Plan A is experiencing some things new, and especially leaving the US or at least going to another couple states I haven't been to before. Sigh.
Yeah.
i'm struggling with it. i'm realizing that i have a problem with creating and maintaining routines/structure for myself. i can blame having a bagillion interests, tasks and choices but really it's a matter of restraint and discipline. i'm determined to get some calluses on my left fingertips gosh darnit!
and i haven't been doing much writing, except maintaining a dream journal :/
and i've been watching entirely too much television. whoo. damn 3 ft wide plasma flast screen. usually, i hardly ever watch television.
also... i feel ambivalent abt blogging... and i kinda wanna get a tumblr but i get the feeling that would lead to a whole bunch of looking at pictures and it would make my attn span even shorter, tolerant only of images and not other people's words.
i've averaging a tolerance of abt 500 words at a time in reading articles and blog posts. let alone finding a new book to read, tho i have easily have a list of abt 30 i want to get from the library.
and i don't know exactly where in the sky i think money or traveling is gonna fall from if i don't start planning. i've got to find a middleground for myself btw the two extremes of so-not-productive and so-productive-i-dont-realize-i'm-being-run-into-the-ground-and-it's-a-bit-unnatural-all-that-i'm-requiring-of-myself. i blame it on school. and ok ok, i'm responsible too.
i'm also wondering when i'll find a balance between writing/art and social justice issues. i feel like i'm constantly double-majoring in the two or not at all bc i feel overwhelmed to the pt of not being very useful ot well-versed in either sphere. so much to know...
i wonder what it would be like to be away in some cabin w/ no tv, just music, a pen and a pad, or a laptop w/ no internet...and copious amts of food of course, and my guitar, and the video/audio for the lessons (and the picks i ordered on eBay that haven't come yet).
hmmm. i'll have to create that for myself.
i'm not ready to embark on finding a job yet. esp the way ppl describe it as becoming a 9-5 job w/in itself. let's start with volunteering somewhere, perhaps?
i just don't want to be a financial drain in my house. there's no real pressure for me to be bringing in the dough anytime soon, but there will be come fall and into next June. i'll give myself to mid-July? the real question is do i find a rinky dink part time job for cash or do i go all out to find something tailored to my interests for the several month haul? which reminds me of something Will Smith said abt how Plan B distracts from Plan A. but finding any job is not my Plan A. it's a means to an end. Plan A is experiencing some things new, and especially leaving the US or at least going to another couple states I haven't been to before. Sigh.
Yeah.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
my Eat, Pray, Love-ish summer
1. LiveMocha, learn French, maintain and enhance Spanish
2. Consistent Physical Activity: Securing a place to do some yoga (Kundalini, perhaps), bike-riding
3. Guitar Practice (and i bought a violin on a whim/eBay daily deal)
4. WRITING. I'm creating a couple projects for myself in poetry, nonfiction and fiction. Which could be a bit overwhelming but I'll take my time & just try to consistently write everyday. It'll all come together.
5. Reading. This one is a doozy. I have to resist the urge to take the whole Philadelphia Free Library home with me. I have recommendations and things I wrote down that I didn't get a chance to read in college and from random encounters/articles. Gah. One step at a time tho.
6. Oh, and going out every once and a while.
7. Figuring out how to be out of the US by this time next year, if not sooner.
2. Consistent Physical Activity: Securing a place to do some yoga (Kundalini, perhaps), bike-riding
3. Guitar Practice (and i bought a violin on a whim/eBay daily deal)
4. WRITING. I'm creating a couple projects for myself in poetry, nonfiction and fiction. Which could be a bit overwhelming but I'll take my time & just try to consistently write everyday. It'll all come together.
5. Reading. This one is a doozy. I have to resist the urge to take the whole Philadelphia Free Library home with me. I have recommendations and things I wrote down that I didn't get a chance to read in college and from random encounters/articles. Gah. One step at a time tho.
6. Oh, and going out every once and a while.
7. Figuring out how to be out of the US by this time next year, if not sooner.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
note to self.
1. finding songs/even whole albums to listen to while i'm writing or just because they're beautiful/pleasing to my ears counts as being productive. Exhibit A: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w28K4fgfgxw
2. write.
3. prioritize.
4. continue to dream your dream even if other people are dreaming overwhelmingly small if at all. only pay attention to the dreams of others that inspire me (those that are big, audacious, simple, necessary--- they can be a lot of things, they just can't be "Maybe you can'ts" or have room, time or energy for doubt. The space, time and energy are being fueled into realizing the dream not worries).
5. journal
6. dream journal (sleep stories)
7. stay true.
8. this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVIHo-0JKA8
9. learn to distinguish between fear and instinct. it will come.
10. consistency. permission. experience.
2. write.
3. prioritize.
4. continue to dream your dream even if other people are dreaming overwhelmingly small if at all. only pay attention to the dreams of others that inspire me (those that are big, audacious, simple, necessary--- they can be a lot of things, they just can't be "Maybe you can'ts" or have room, time or energy for doubt. The space, time and energy are being fueled into realizing the dream not worries).
5. journal
6. dream journal (sleep stories)
7. stay true.
8. this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVIHo-0JKA8
9. learn to distinguish between fear and instinct. it will come.
10. consistency. permission. experience.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)