Because it's mine

I want my afro back.

Now, a good afro can invoke a physical reaction in my body when I see it. Like, I get really excited and sometimes speechless. I be forgettin' that I can have one of my own. I actually really liked the one I had before my mom convinced me to try locs after a couple months of, "You look like a five year old," "It don't look like nothing," "blah blah [insert more negative comments here]" wrapped up in "You're such a beautiful girl but..." And I didn't remember/realize until I cut my locs off that that was the reason for 2 years I had locs. Now, they were beautiful. I don't regret them. But I do regret the impetus from which I started them. I'm really tired of having to hear every couple of days (and at least this is a break from hearing everyday when I came home) about how I need some texture in my hair, I need to curl it, to make it look like something, "Don't worry I'll try to do something to it this weekend," "We'll twist it," and a like 20 minutes ago, "I just saw this hair product in the store that I think [i read:] fix your hair." Now, I'm all for trying different styles.  I will admit that for most of my life I haven't had to put a lot of work into my hair, so I haven't. I did it once a week (at my most frequent) when I used to straighten my hair, and got it done every couple of weeks when I had locs. Aside from greasin it I didn't have a lot to do, so now I will be relearning my hair. When I had my afro I didn't style it because I was happy with it the way it was and didn't see a lot of different style models. Okay. My thing, that my mom (and every one else in the occasional peanut gallery) just doesn't seem to get is that I am happy with my hair the way it is. I am thinking about different styles I want to try. If I want their help, I will ask. Until then, listen to me good when I tell you I am happy with the way my hair grows out of my head.

I'm sure there will be some transition styles and experiments on the road back to my afro and on to a larger and luscious new 'fro for me but that is where I'm headed. I don't wanna hear no lip. I will do the same thing to you I do to other people when they start the talking: tell you I'm fine the way I am, disregard you or find a pleasant way to walk out of the room.

I'm gonna live my life the way I want to live it and you either get on board or ... I don't even know. That's not my concern. I say this because I trust myself. I know I'm not gonna steer me wrong, and if I do, I know that I'll find my way back. I'm not crazy. I take advice when I need and want it. I'm open. I ask questions. I fully engage in conversation and different ideas. But if there's something I want... it's about time I exercise my right to fight and get it.